Good morning world, I wanted to talk more about my days as a teen. Growing up I said I only hung with a few amount of people and that was due to how unsure I was of myself around others with my condition. I can recount the days that when I was hanging out I felt massive anxiety that was so hard to control. One time when I was 13 I had to come up with numerous excuses at times as to why I didn’t or rather couldn’t come outside, the thought of letting my mental state get the best of me had me scared shitless and telling them about my condition was out of the question during that period of time. There were times when I was gonna speak up but the feeling of embarrassment was to great even with my medication helping me out so I did what I thought was best and lied my way out of any and all activities. One day I was out with them and the voices got seriously loud and I was on the verge of crying because of so many different scenarios playing in my head. I made up a lie about a headache and wanted to go home but we were out far from home so waiting was all I could do. I was holding so hard not to snap on anybody and that in itself was intense. I was sweating profusely and people were asking did I feel well and I told them yeah like an idiot… If I had a chance, maybe I’d fix the events that day because I might have a peace of mind, but maybe leaving it the way it is and looking forward to the future will make me better.
I’m chilling with psychosis