A million pieces

I’m not having the best night, I feel like I’m gonna be in a million pieces before the night is over. I’m feeling like no matter what I do it’s not gonna change the fact of what’s going on, I can’t say what exactly is going on but I can say that it’s not going to be great with my anxiety and mental health. I’m trying to hold it together but I have so many scenarios playing out in my head and it’s not pretty, I don’t want to jump to conclusions but I have nothing to go on and it’s bothering me deeply. I just want a sign that everything will be ok and that it’s just in my head, I’m afraid that something will happen to me if I don’t get a response or if what I’m thinking will happen does indeed go through… My head is spinning and I’m just feeling like I’m approaching my limit with everything and it’s got me in a spiral, I wanna stop thinking about negative thoughts but I can’t shake the feeling that something will end up being bad and with my luck it’ll probably happen. I won’t be able to sleep tonight for sure and I’m already upset about that, I wanna feel numb and I wanna erase these feelings of pain but I have to sit here and deal with them until I know exactly what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna try and wait it out with extreme stress and hopefully something happens in a good way 😢