It’s been decided

For the past few days I’ve been feeling like complete shit when I have woken up, so I’ve decided that I’ll speak to someone about getting back on medication for my own sanity and safety. I don’t know why I’ve been falling back to my old feelings I had growing up as a kid but I don’t want it to progress even further than it has been back then, I’m a little scared of taking meds again but it’s for the best so at least I’ll have a way of keeping myself in check. I remember the feeling they gave me back then, I wasn’t a fan of it and I’m pretty sure this time won’t be any better. I have people who are there for me so I’m not worried about the lack of a support system at all, I think I’ll give my doctor a call after the weekend and schedule an appointment. I may have to schedule an appointment with a therapist too so that he/she will know what I’m dealing with and maybe get a better understanding of what I’m feeling, my head is killing me from just all the stress and sudden decisions of trying to better myself and push forward. I’ll need to have a talk with my siblings about my recent feelings also, they need to know about the thoughts I’ve been having so they’ll also be on guard if I need any treatment. I don’t like having extreme amounts of anxiety but it’s uncontrollable and it’s pushing me closer and closer to the edge and I’m scared of it. I hope I can get it together soon, I know it’ll take time but at this moment time is all I have to give.